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Notes On A Popular Processed "Cheese" Cracker

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Some notes on a popular processed snack "cheese" cracker. Don't judge me. This is the one that's always BOGO.   First cracker: Hmm. Salty. Crunchy. Aww, yiss. This will do just fine.   Second cracker. Salty. Crunchy. Let's have another one.   Third cracker: Salty. Crunchy. Wait, what is that aftertaste? It's not cheese, really, is it? It's something else.   Fourth cracker: Salty. Crunchy. Ah, yes. The aftertaste is definitely puppy breath and roofing tar.   Fifth cracker: Back in box. Revulsion. Remorse. Why the heck did I get two of these things?